时间:2021-03-18 00:11

本文摘要:I wanted it to work. I wanted to fall in love, like so many of my friends. “It takes a while,” they said. “Don’t expect a coup de foudre. Let it build over time.”我期望这次能顺利。我期望自己能像很多朋友那样爱上它。“这必须花上点时间,”他们说道。 “别确信一见钟情,感情是必须时间渐渐培育的。


I wanted it to work. I wanted to fall in love, like so many of my friends. “It takes a while,” they said. “Don’t expect a coup de foudre. Let it build over time.”我期望这次能顺利。我期望自己能像很多朋友那样爱上它。“这必须花上点时间,”他们说道。

“别确信一见钟情,感情是必须时间渐渐培育的。”So I did. I knew other people looked at what I had with envy. But a month and a half after we first got together, I have decided it is time to — well, call time.于是我就这么做到了,我告诉其他人用妒忌的眼光看著我所享有的东西。但当初次遇见过去一个半月之后,我实在——好吧,这么宽的时间早已不够了。

I am breaking up with my Apple Watch. The relationship was, despite all expectations, not what I needed. All the focus on San Francisco and Apple’s next big innovation this week (streaming!) made me realize it was not playing my tune.我就这样舍弃了我的苹果手表。尽管我对这段关系期望颇高,但它却是不是我必须的。

这个星期,人们都把目光投向旧金山,紧密注目着苹果公司下一个根本性创意(流媒体!),于是我也明白,它敲的不是我讨厌的调调。Still, I will never regret the weeks we spent together. They taught me some valuable truths about myself.不过,我会为我们相聚的几个星期深感愧疚。

这段时间让我认识到了关于自身的根本性真凶。Like, for example, that I do not want to be defined by a talking point on my wrist.比方说,我显然想用手腕上醒目的玩意儿突显身份。There is a reason that I carry the same (no logo) handbag everywhere I go, a reason my (pre-Apple) watch had no bells or tourbillon whistles; a reason I gravitate toward clothes that are not identifiable by season or designer and do not appear in any advertisements I have ever seen.所以我跑到哪儿都只是带着一个没标识的手袋,在用这个苹果手表之前,我的手表没闹铃,也没陀飞轮的声响;我只讨厌那些没标明当季时新的或是知名设计师的衣服,那些我没有在广告里见过的衣服。I spend a lot of time in a world where products are shorthand for people, and I know too well the risks of having such semiology attached to myself (though I fully acknowledge my willingness to attach it to others).在这个我生活多年的世界上,商品被修改,卖给人们,我深深告诉把这样一种符号意义同自己联系一起不会有什么样的危险性(尽管我告诉自己也不会把这样的符号和别人联系一起)。


But when I started wearing the Apple Watch (the 38-millimeter case with a Milanese Loop band, which is the smaller size with a flexible stainless steel bracelet), it became a subject of conversation no matter where I was: in meetings at work, at the bagel store, at my son’s track meet. It has been so everywhere, marketed to so many people, there was just no mistaking it.但是一旦我戴着上苹果手表(38毫米表壳米兰尼斯表带,是较为小的型号,有可弯的不锈钢手镯表带),它就出了话题的焦点,不管我跑到什么地方:工作会议、面包店、儿子的家长会。它早就无处不在,做到过无数推展,人们决不有可能当面。First everyone wanted to know about it. Then they wanted to try it. Then they made certain assumptions about me.一开始,所有人都想要理解它,后来他们就想要试试看,再行接下来他们就开始对我产生特定的猜测。

Which, frankly, I would have made about any woman like myself walking around with a big black box on her arm.坦白地说道,如果看见一个像我这样的女人胳膊上挎着一个大黑箱子四处走来走去,我也才对对她产生某种程度的点子。Because no matter how attractive the Apple Watch is in the context of other smartwatches or smartbands, no matter how much of an aesthetic advance its rounded corners and rectangular display, it still looks like a gadget. Especially on someone, like me, with relatively small wrists.因为,不管苹果手表在智能手表和智能手环界有多么诱人,不管它的圆角和矩形显示器是多大的美学变革,它看起来依然只是个小玩意儿。尤其是对于我这种手腕很细的人来说。

Not only does its face effectively span the width of my forearm, but the cool little screen saver that so many reviewers have lauded — the Mickey or the butterfly or the galaxy (which is the one I have) or the pseudo-watch hands (the one that, notably, is always on in every picture of the watch, and actually makes it look like a watch) — is also functionally sleeping most of the time.它的仪表盘宽度和我的手腕差不多长,还有它那个酷酷的屏幕维护,很多人看了都啧啧惊叹——有米老鼠、蝴蝶和星空(我的就是星空),还有两个假表针(所有苹果手表的图片上都有这个假表针,做的它样子知道是块表格一样)——大多数时间,这个屏保就睡觉在仪表盘上。Every time I see it, I want to shriek, “Beam me up, Scotty.”每次看到它我都想要大喊一声,“传输我上去,斯科蒂。

”(语出有《星际变形金刚》——学术著作)Not that it would do much good. Typing doesn’t awaken the picture. Even when I rock my arm back and forth energetically, it often takes a few tries before up the earth pops. The default position is blank.推倒不是说道它不行。键入无法转录屏保,就算我用力往返伸胳膊,也得花上上好几次,那个地球才能跳跃出来。配置文件方位是空白的。

Just as my default position when trying to read an email or the text of a headline on the small screen involves raising my wrist to near eye level — or, if a phone call is involved and my actual phone is not reachable, talking into thin air. If your children or acquaintances come upon you, it’s pretty much an invitation to ridicule.在这个小屏幕上,想读email、短信、新闻标题,我习惯的姿势一般是把手腕举到视平线一处,如果有电话打来,手机又很差拿,要用它来打电话的时候,感觉就看起来对着空气说出。如果你的孩子或者熟人这时跑到你身边,很可能会笑话你。“Why is that more embarrassing than endlessly looking at a phone?” my friends said when I complained.“为什么这比频密看手机更让人失望呢?”我责怪的时候,朋友们都这么回答我。

It’s a valid question, but after some contemplation I think the answer is simple: A phone is hand-held, and we are used to seeing people read things held in their hands. Like, say, books. But seeing somebody staring at her wrist (or merely sneaking a surreptitious glance at it) telegraphs something else entirely: (1) rudeness or (2) geekiness.这是个好问题,但是经过思维,我实在我的问很非常简单:手机是拿在手里的,而我们早已习惯了看见人们读者拿在手里的东西,比方说读书。但是看著某人盯着手腕(或者是鬼鬼祟祟地偷瞄准具自己的手腕),还用它来放讯息,这竟然人实在又不礼貌,又看起来科技狂。This doesn’t seem to have bothered the tech writers, most of whom wrote persuasively positive reviews of the gadget, primarily based on what it could do for you. And it is certainly more subtle than Google Glass, though I am not sure that is saying much.对于科技专栏作家们来说,这算不上什么大事,他们大多数人都为苹果手表写出了令人信服的悲观评论,内容主要是基于它的功能。而且它似乎比谷歌眼镜精美,不过我实在这也解释没法过于多问题。


Granted, all of this would likely pale in importance if the watch were truly transforming my life, as my iPhone has. But I have never had a problem turning away from my emails when I need to concentrate on something else — I’ve effectively trained myself to compartmentalize — so I need specific alerts as to what is important.退一步说,如果这块表格知道能像iPhone手机那样转变我的生活,那么一切也就都没什么大不了的了。我向来训练自己把手头的事区分得很确切,必须专心行事的时候,我从不不会迟疑去坎email,所以我必须有个警告,告诉他我什么邮件是最重要的。

And the small screen is simply too small to really read on, so I’ve been more annoyed than happy when it alerted me to texts from my loved ones; and when I saw a headline, all I wanted to do was find the rest of the story.小屏幕觉得是太小了,显然没法用它只想读书东西,所以每当它提醒我,最重要的亲朋好友给我发信息了,我的感觉不是高兴,而是焦躁;而且我又是那种一看标题就不禁想读内容的人。Besides, the busywork the watch’s apps can replace — handing over airline boarding passes, opening hotel room doors — seems less like an advance than a loss of control. Call me a Luddite, but honestly, I don’t mind unlocking things with my actual hands. The new watch OS announced this week may change the situation, but I am not sure I have the patience to wait.此外,苹果手表上的应用于可以替代一些工作,但看起来不看起来变革,倒像是失控——递交登机牌、关上酒店房间等等。你可以说道我是个反感技术的人,但老实说道,我不介意用自己的双手关上门锁。新的苹果手表操作系统宣告这个星期可以在这方面展开改良,但我不确认我还有没冷静等下去。

Likewise (and I know this will be heresy to anyone really excited about the coming Fitbit initial public offering), the fitness-app aspect — the tracking of my steps, the measuring of my heart rate, the telling me to stand up when I am in the middle of an article — seems more like a burden than freedom.某种程度(我告诉对于那些激动期望Fitbit身体健康手环首次公开发表IPO的人们来说类似于异端邪说),那些身体健康应用于更加看起来给人带给开销而不是权利——就是那些老大你计步、测量你的跳动、警告你文章写出到一半站一起活动的应用于。I have worked hard to wean myself from a reliance on exercise machines telling me how hard I had worked — how many calories I had burned, how many stairs I had climbed — in part because I knew I was cheating pretty much all the time anyway and thus could not trust the results, and in part because it became an excuse to modify, or not, my ensuing behavior.我酬劳了相当大力气让自己仍然倚赖磨练器械,不想它来告诉他我我磨练得有多么艰辛——我自燃了多少卡路里、我爬到了多少级台阶——部分是因为我告诉自己常常作弊,机器给的结果靠不住,部分也是因为它出了一种借口,来掩盖或不掩盖我随之而来的不道德。But the truth is, I know when I am in shape; I can see the difference in my body and feel it when I ride my bike in the park. The watch threatened to drag me back into a numbers-driven neurosis, and that’s a temptation I would rather not have. (Also, I have too many friends who look at their fitness tracker in the middle of conversation, then immediately spring up and start walking around energetically, to feel it is really additive to my life.)但事实是,我告诉自己很身体健康;如果我去公园里骑马自行车,我能感觉到自己的身体和心情再次发生了变化。

这块表格威胁着我,要把我扯返回由数字驱动的神经兮兮中去,我宁愿不要这种欲望(我有不少朋友都是说道着一半话就开始看他们的身体健康追踪器,然后立刻跳跃一起,精神头十足地绕圈走路,我实在这对于我来说几乎多余)。I did like the fact that I could turn my phone ringer off, and the watch would vibrate when, say, my children were on the line and I needed to take the call. But in the end that wasn’t enough.我显然讨厌夹住机关成静音,孩子们打来电话时手表不会震动,我再拿起电话。但到头来这点益处还过于。When I told a colleague about the breakup, he observed that perhaps I wasn’t the target for the Apple Watch. That I should be sure to tell the Siri on my wrist, “It’s not you, it’s me.” He may be right.我告诉他一个同事我舍弃了苹果手表,他认为,也许我不是它的目标用户。

我一定得告诉他手腕上的Siri,“不是你的问题,是我的。”他或许是对的。Except I don’t think so, and not just because often, opposites do attract. But because I actually think I am the intended: a nontech person who wouldn’t otherwise have too many gadgets (a phone, an iPad, a laptop), but who could be seduced into buying another because of its desirability.但我并不这么指出,这某种程度是因为不是冤家不聚头。而是因为我实在我的确是它的目标用户:一个非技术型的人,本来不不愿享有过于多科技产品(手机、iPad、笔记本电脑就不够了),但却有可能被欲望着多卖给一件,只因为它过于诱人了。

That’s the way Apple increases market share and owns a category, after all: by sucking in those who are not Apple addicts. It’s why the company worked so hard to get close to the fashion flock.所以苹果的市场份额才日益减少,并且独树一帜:靠的就是更有那些不著迷苹果产品的人。所以苹果公司才那么希望,去切合时尚人群。

But here’s the thing: The watch isn’t actually a fashion accessory for the tech-happy. It’s a tech accessory pretending to be a fashion accessory. I just couldn’t fall for it.但问题就是这样:苹果手表只不过并不是为讨厌技术的人设计的时尚服饰。它是假装成时尚服饰的技术服饰。